When I first met le husband and wanted to know more about him I turned to the best investigation tool for desis- Facebook. I stealthily stalked him to find out more about him. In the process, one of the post he shared resonated with me and made it easier to say yes to him later. It went- "A man with dreams needs a woman with vision. Her perspective, faith, and support will change his reality. If she doesn't challenge you, then she's no good for you. Men who want to stay ordinary will tell you not to have expectations of them. Men who want to be great will want you to push them, pray with them, and invest in them." I like this quote so much because this goes both ways. It shows you what a great marriage can be like. While no one can and is responsible to change you for the better, having a person with vision by your side will make such a difference when you embark on your journey to unlock your true potential.
If you know you want to get married one day and are serious about reaching your dreams, you absolutely have to think long and hard about who you choose as a spouse. This person will either push you to do your best or hold you back. They won't necessarily hold you back by asking you not work or follow your dreams. What happens in most cases is that they will do that by being indifferent to your wishes and hopes for yourself. They will wear your spirit down by not believing you are capable of anything of signficance.
If you choose someone who really believes in you, s/he will not let you accept mediocrity for yourself. They will school you if required and convince you that you can do better. And that's the kind of partner you need if you want to reach somewhere without marriage sucking the dreams out of you.
So to all those ladies who message me asking whether they should proceed with a certain alliance while also mentioning how passionate they are about their studies/work etc. Be clear about where you want to be in life. Share these dreams (or a seed of it) with your suitor and see how he reacts. If it's indifference or worry or fear (girls with dreams are like kryptonite for many men) walk away from him. You deserve someone who's ready to invest in your dreams (and you should be ready to do that for him too). Trust me, this will be one of the best decisions you will make for yourself.
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