Nazreen Fazal Post

LIFE

Here's to swallowing our pride and learning to accept criticism that helps us grow.

September 6, 2017,

There's a lot of talk these days of cutting off negative people from your life because they kill your vibe. I am all for the 'You don't need this kind of negativity in your life' line of thought if what we are talking about is toxic relationships and people who are out to pull you down. But that's the extent to which I will support it. I don't think you should cut off people who out of genuine goodwill call you out when you are doing something questionable or about to make a bad decision.

Here's a secret. My biggest critic is my dad. Then my husband. They will tell me outright if something I wrote sucks or lacks substance. They will mince no words. And If I am honest, it hurts. I mean, no one wants to hear they did something poorly. Especially from someone they care about. However, I need to hear it, this is the most honest feedback I get and I need it to improve as a writer. So even though I get upset most of the time I do (even though reluctantly) take what they have to say.

Sometimes you need to hear no. You need to hear that your ideas suck. You need to hear that you can do better. You will not get anywhere if all you have are friends and family who don't stop you when you are doing something wrong. You will not improve any skill if you don't get real feedback. So choose people who aren't just yes(wo)men who will not say anything to your face for fear of hurting you but won't mind discussing your flaws with others behind your back. Choose people who have the strength to call you out when you are wrong and to guide you in the correct direction. Choose people who are invested in your well being.

How do you tell apart the ones who care for you from the ones who don't? The genuine well wishers advice you in private and have your back when you need them. The fake ones will humiliate you in public and don't give a shit about you when you are in need. This automatically eliminates all uncles and aunties who will criticize you not to make you better but for a personal power trip.

Here's to swallowing our pride and learning to accept criticism that helps us grow.

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