Nazreen Fazal Post

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Women can't do it all.

July 3, 2017,

No, women can do EVERYTHING they want to. But they can't and shouldn't be doing everything at once. We have been trained to aspire to become the corporate superwoman who is also a domestic goddess. The one who has power meetings in the mornings and makes power rotis at dinner. We are told that we are falling behind when we aren't earning 6 figure salaries, maintaining a spotless house, raising angelic children, pleasing the in laws, and making exactly 5 cm radius rotis all at once. All while also being super sexy for the husband at night.

This is not only not sustainable, it's also very unfair. We don't expect men to do half these things and we definitely don't invent categories like 'Superman' (in a domestic context) for men to aspire to. The bar for men is so low that just looking after their own damn kids is called 'baby sitting'. And women who have partners who help out in doing house hold chores are asked to feel grateful for that. (I have to admit though that in our society it is a blessing to have a partner who can adult. So many men grow up thinking the kitchen has a deadly shield which allows only women to enter and kills men who cross the threshold)

I work a minimum 8 hours in the office, sometimes 10, when I come back I have energy to either cook or clean. Not both. I can do both but that would mean I have no time for myself that day. No time to unwind. So I order food from outside or I don't clean. Or I cook and le husband cleans. These days it's my husband doing most of the work at home because I am near dead when I reach home and hit the bed straight. (In our case he does far more work than me)

If things are unmanageable I will hire someone to help clean or cook. But I will not do it all.
For women who do it all, something's gotta give. And I am making sure it's not my mental or physical health for the sake of becoming a poster girl for the patriarchy.

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