The world is drained of its color

Written on

There’s a kind of tiredness that reaches the very core of your bones. It coils around your veins and settles comfortably in every free crevice it finds. If you don’t pay attention it can creep into your mind and make you emotionally and mentally tired. Once that happens it’s like the world is drained of its color and there’s nothing in it that can cheer you up.

We all feel it at some point in our life.

A physical and mental drain. A deep exhaustion that is hard to explain.

I’ve felt that for some time now. The kind of all consuming fatigue that makes you not want to participate in life. But I still (try) power on and get through from one moment to the next, one task to another, today to tomorrow. It’s also why I haven’t written much in a while. Writing takes some energy and I had none to spare.

Then today I had lunch by myself(I eat alone whenever at work) and decided to tune out of the world for that short time. Switched my phone off and set it to the side. Ordered a good meal and paid all my attention to it. I enjoyed the flavors and textures in my mouth as I gazed outside the restaurant window at the people passing by. I let my mind wander and then come back to the present.

It was a gift of uninterrupted time to myself. And I loved it.

I feel more energized and refocused. The tiredness is there in the background but I know that’s part of adulthood. You just fight it out and plod on till the next bit of shade you find.

To everyone who’s in the same boat, take some time out from rowing vigorously. Let the water around you come to a calm still. Enjoy the reflections on it. Take a long sip from the stream. Then continue. Where you want to reach isn’t going anywhere.

Much love xx

Nazreen Fazal

Nazreen Fazal

Writer, Wife, Mother, Indian, Muslim. So many labels, one me. I write, I rant, I ramble in order to make sense of everything happening around. Join me on this journey as I share snippets of my life, going about work, my parenting wins and fails, and the murky waters that's long distance marriage.

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