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Generosity flows through Makkah

In every corner, every turn of the street, every open space, you find people racing to give and serve and assist. In the mosque people walk around offering dates, coffee, bread, miswak, and water. Children are most adored, as people stop and give them candy and fruit. Yesterday I saw a man stand for an hour near Safa marwa offering tissues to the pilgrims.

Continue Reading 17 Feb 2023

The Blue Cup

This is me, at 3 months post partum, trying to take a nice selfie on the now rare occasion of putting on some make up. I tried a couple of different angles and then realized all of them have some reminder in the background of my status as a mom of littles. A neon plastic cup here, a diaper there, some other toy which looks a unicorn threw up a...

Continue Reading 30 Jan 2023

Gold - Malayalam Movie Mini Review

Watching Gold felt like listening to a toddler narrate a story. There are a lot of substories with multiple detours that are hard to keep track of. New actors are introduced Willy nilly with a lot of fanfare to then find out they are pointless to the plot (which is hanging on a one liner).

Continue Reading 02 Jan 2023

"Marana Veedu"

On Friday morning I woke up to the news that my father’s mother, my velliumma, had breathed her last and returned to her Lord. She was 78 years old when she passed to the next world.

Continue Reading 24 Feb 2019

Romantic love is overrated.

Romantic love is overrated. There I said it.

Continue Reading 13 Feb 2019

I love stationery. I love paper. I love pretty journals. I love beautiful pens

One thing people close to me know about me is that I love stationery. I love paper. I love pretty journals. I love beautiful pens I can write with on the said pretty journals. And on top of all that I love a little time each day I can spend reflecting.

Continue Reading 31 Jan 2019

Do you dream of all the lives you could have lived?

Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you not made that particular choice at that particular moment? On some nights do you toss about in bed thinking of all the things you did or didn’t do that brought you to this moment, right now in the present? Does it fill you with relief or regret? Is the sigh you let out content or wistful or loaded with remorse?...

Continue Reading 27 Jan 2019

#LettersToSelf

On unkind days, be kind to yourself. It sounds easy, but it isn’t.

Continue Reading 20 Oct 2018

You see me here?

You see me here? Eyes glazed from lack of sleep, punctuated by dark circles. Skin and lips dry because I forget to drink water, let alone moisturize. Motherhood is as unglamorous as it gets. But guess what, when I took this pic I was happy and content. I’d put in Z into the Aseema carrier and she snuggled closed to me and just fell asleep like that. 30 mins of...

Continue Reading 15 Oct 2018

Latent Rage

I believe that most women, irrespective of race, religion, caste or creed, go about their lives with latent rage building up inside. No, we aren’t born with it. It’s a direct result of enduring and witnessing injustice over generations. Encountering sex-based discrimination, harassment, and even violence on a regular basis results in this slow build of rage that gradually begins to settle under our skin, around our thoughts, and on...

Continue Reading 07 Oct 2018

Manbabyism

I am the doctor that detects bullshit and I am here to diagnose you.

Continue Reading 31 Aug 2018

I can go on but I don't think it will ever end

When you remove the patriarchy tinted glasses forced on you since childhood, a lot of things begin to clear up. You see things for what they are. You notice the ‘little things’ that have a lasting impact and how they end up forming attitudes of entire societies.

Continue Reading 29 Aug 2018

Thoughts on India's Independence Day

Thoughts on India’s Independence Day

Continue Reading 15 Aug 2018

Day 11: What If?

When asked what they regret the most when on their death bed, most reply: not following their dreams, not listening to their hearts… it is always about not doing something. And thus they are left to face death with a heavy ‘What if?’ hanging over their heads.

Continue Reading 13 Mar 2018

I am an Indian Muslim woman

This Republic Day I want to share something I wrote last year and is very close to my heart:

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2018

Some Words of Wisdom That Speak to You

The Prophet (saw) said:

Continue Reading 21 Jan 2018

Be you

One of the most grating things for me is to hear someone say my opinion/argument/insight is ‘illogical’ or ‘irrational’ because I am a woman. When I am made to feel that anything I say is just the result of ‘emotions’ because I am female.

Continue Reading 20 Oct 2017

I remember the girl who forgot...

They spoke often of her, of how she travelled lands seeking moments to collect. She walked backwards extracting footprints from the past. She stored memories in jars, filled pages with scribbles, and labelled pictures in ornate albums. At times, like beads, she strung these memories into beautiful necklaces; bright pink, calming blues, and fiery red made their way as the gloomy grays were left behind. And then, gently, she locked...

Continue Reading 30 Sep 2017

'Not all men'

‘Not all men’

Continue Reading 26 Sep 2017

brought them into the world

I want to talk to the parents. The new ones and the old ones. The ones of toddlers and teens and grown adults. I hope you will listen.

Continue Reading 28 Aug 2017

Thoughts on India's Independence Day

I have fond memories of Independence Day Celebrations at school. It begins when the class teacher threatens everyone to come saying she will definitely take the attendance to make sure everyone is present. You see, it’s supposed to be a holiday but then we had students participating in march pasts, ‘patriotic’ plays, songs, and dances which squeezed in a ‘hum sab ek hai’, ‘meri mitti, mera chaman’ and ‘bhai-behen’ wherever...

Continue Reading 15 Aug 2017

'The Handmaid's tale'. I am now in a dark dark hole.

Over the last few days I binge watched ‘The Handmaid’s tale’. I am now in a dark dark hole. To think that Margaret Atwood wrote this with a challenge to herself that she’d only include events that have already happened somewhere at some point in time…

Continue Reading 12 Aug 2017

Navigating the New India

For someone who has a Masters degree in Political Science, I don’t write or comment as much on politics. I used to. I used to read voraciously about it, consume numerous opinion pieces, and sometimes even engage in comment wars with random people.

Continue Reading 10 Aug 2017

#ThinkingOutLoud

Contrary to popular belief, millennials are one of the most overworked demographic. Especially in Asia. Here overworking is seen as a sign of good work ethic, it’s supposed to show how dedicated one is. The later you stay after work hours the better worker you are seen as. And with such a high population and such low resources, a lot of us can’t even afford to not work overtime because...

Continue Reading 04 Aug 2017

Hold on, you will get there.

Earlier today I posted a comic about the ‘imposter syndrome’. It’s when you feel like you had nothing to do with all your achievements, like they were a fluke or just pure luck, and that you are just the sum of all your failures. So even when you are doing really well, you feel like you don’t deserve all of your achievements and accolades. And when one negative comment comes...

Continue Reading 22 Jul 2017

Bleeding is not a 'luxury'

So here’s the thing. Periods suck. Menstruation. Aunt Flo. The Red Wedding. Inevitable pain and discomfort, whatever name you call it by, is still inevitable pain and discomfort. Guys, you need to read this. Carefully.

Continue Reading 06 Jul 2017

Bharati!

It was a dark night- the dramatic kind- with the wind swooshing through the leaves and the thunder punctuating the silence. I was walking back home from work when I saw a woman trying to hail a taxi. Dressed in a simple kurta and jeans, she would have gone unnoticed, had it not been for the distress etched all over her face.

Continue Reading 05 Jul 2017

Women can't do it all.

No, women can do EVERYTHING they want to. But they can’t and shouldn’t be doing everything at once. We have been trained to aspire to become the corporate superwoman who is also a domestic goddess. The one who has power meetings in the mornings and makes power rotis at dinner. We are told that we are falling behind when we aren’t earning 6 figure salaries, maintaining a spotless house, raising...

Continue Reading 03 Jul 2017

''To My Dead Husband"

Darling,

Continue Reading 30 Jun 2017

There's a leaky faucet in my kitchen

There’s a leaky faucet in my kitchen. If I don’t close it the right way, with the right amount of pressure, it goes drip drip drip drip drip all day till I get frustrated and am forced to get away from my work to stop it. It’s weird how such an insignificant sound- a drop of water hitting the sink- can get on your nerves. I can’t stand it for...

Continue Reading 14 Jun 2017

Women!

We have some messed up ideas of what it means to be a young woman, a newly married woman, a married woman without children, a married woman with children. There are some expectations of how women in each category should behave. Like a silent tree she must bloom and shed aspects of her personality according to the seasons. In Spring she must shade those around her with her full bloom...

Continue Reading 10 Jun 2017

'Noodlepuff'.

Imagine an independent country ‘Noodlepuff’. It has its own culture, economy, and trade. It’s supposed to be independent. However, Noodlepuff outsources its governance to another country, say neighbouring country ‘Momopuff’. SO Momopuff dictates what the people of Noodlepuff eat, drink, wear, do, study etc. Can you imagine being a citizen of Noodle puff? How inconvenient and embarrassing it is to not be autonomous in your own land?

Continue Reading 08 Jun 2017

Attention: This is a kindness thread.

The week has ended, some shoulders are slumped under stress at work or school, some have aching backs after too much toil, and others have heavy minds burdened by everything that needs to be done.

Continue Reading 07 Jun 2017

Ramadan

The most difficult part of Ramadan is not fasting from food. That’s actually the easy bit, anyone can do it.

Continue Reading 30 May 2017

Marriage / Ramadan

Marriage is not always this rosy rom com where you wake up to your husband holding flowers for you and you feed each other chocolate till you die. You don’t spend your entire day sighing and composing love ballads for each other. And breakfast in bed is really not that common. No. Marriage is messy. And it’s understandable because it’s a relationship that is not bound by blood. It’s not...

Continue Reading 27 May 2017

Just a Date?

I have been fasting the whole month of Ramadan since the age of 11 or 12. Before that, my Ramadan was mostly of half fasts-breaking my fast 5-6 hours before the adults. I remember one episode in particular where sunset was around 6 pm and I decided that fasting until 5 was the maximum I can do. So I broke my fast literally one hour before iftaar. Talk about patience....

Continue Reading 26 May 2017

Dear students about to receive your grades,

I know that each day, as you get closer to the the results, you are a little more afraid. I can feel your heart in your mouth. You’ve worked so hard for this. You bought all the books and religiously did all the question papers. You skipped hanging out with friends for 2 hours of Physics. You missed a cousin’s wedding because you had to get maths into your head....

Continue Reading 21 May 2017

Dear Papa and Mamma,

Tell me, which day was it that you assigned my future for me? What about me made you feel that I can be a good doctor? Was it written on my forehead when I came out of your womb, ma?

Continue Reading 20 May 2017

Wordlessness.

For someone who aspires to be a writer, the worst thing that can happen is to run out of words. To have unruly thoughts bounce off the walls of your mind, unable to find a single word that can articulate it and let it out. It’s even more distressing when you want to articulate oppression, be it your own or someone else’s, and you find yourself short of words. What...

Continue Reading 09 May 2017

'OLIO PICCANTO'

My father worked in Italy for five years. He loved the quiet little town of Brindisi. He would go on long walks along the Adriatic coastline in the evenings, my mother reluctantly walking beside him since he’s donned a ridiculous cow boy hat that she absolutely detests. On weekends they’d go on road trips to different parts of Southern Italy, a cowboy hat wearing brown man and his hijabi wife,...

Continue Reading 08 May 2017

7 way to raise independent and confident boys and girls

I don’t have kids so these are not tried and tested by me. These are based on observations of different parents and what they do in their parenting journeys, that sets their children apart from the rest. When I look back at my own childhood, I see a lot of the things my parents did that have contributed to making me who I am. I’d break it down broadly to...

Continue Reading 06 May 2017

Me with!

One day I want to see myself on the screen and in the pages of best selling books. Me or someone like me. Not there as a caricature or a token character. Not there merely to be the head on which rests the hijab added for diversity. Not there to show how certain cultures oppress their women so the rest should gloat. Not there to evoke sympathy and be saved...

Continue Reading 14 Apr 2017

Dear You,

Yes you. This letter is for everyone who was made to feel small. For everyone one who was bullied for who they are, what they look like, or where they come from. This is a love letter from me to you.

Continue Reading 14 Apr 2017

'beta give us good news'

I am open in my disdain of self appointed uterus status inquirers. So much so that most of them have backed off now. I show it in a frown or by outright saying NO or sometimes changing the topic in a jiffy. But there still remain a few who are persistent in trying to find out whether a couple is going to have little humans or not.

Continue Reading 07 Apr 2017

Bookstores and restaurants

Bookstores and restaurants evoke the same emotions in me. Well, more like feeeeelingsss. It’s a bewildering concoction of excitement, dread, anticipation, guilt, joy, and sorrow.

Continue Reading 25 Mar 2017

#Sheroes.

Women never cease to amaze me. It is just incredible how much women can and continue to endure on a daily basis. From the moms on overdrive 24/7 to the single ladies out to make their name in a world against them to the girls who wake up and quash an assortment of stereotypes each day to grandmas in whose wrinkles rest struggles of entire generations.

Continue Reading 08 Mar 2017

10 Ways Women Hate Themselves

One of the main by-products of the patriarchy–Internalized misogyny and sexism– rears its ugly head when:

Continue Reading 01 Mar 2017

To Those Who Beat Their Children

Spanking ones child is considered a god given right in most Asian cultures. Many parents here don’t think twice before slapping, pinching, or taking out the much feared ‘daddy’s belt’ to “discipline” their children. This abuse is so pervasive in our culture that even in schools many teachers resort to corporal punishment if their student is seen as falling behind in the classes. Sometimes it is done in public, absolutely...

Continue Reading 26 Feb 2017

Six Ways to Pluck Nosy People Out of Your Life

We’ve all had to face questions about our career, marriage plans, and little human appearances at least once in our life. If you are a woman, definitely more than once. But the thing is, no aunty or uncle has any business peeking into your life or uterus. So here are some tried and tested tips to stop people from meddling in your binezz.

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2017

Five Ways to Improve Your Language Skills

‘How do I improve my speaking/writing skills?’ is a question many in my inbox have. I thought I’d write down a list of five simple steps to get started.

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2017

A 9 point letter to parents

Dear Parents,

Continue Reading 18 Feb 2017

Time we told our daughters they are in charge of their own story.

Continue Reading 30 Jan 2017

ideal womanhood.

In her lifetime a woman takes on a range of roles. However, it’s her roles which are in relation to others (most of the time men) that she is asked to live up to the most. Countless are the articles which go “A women is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother so….”. My gripe is with the word ‘so’ here. It makes the respect that a woman deserves...

Continue Reading 28 Jan 2017

Not a 'catch' but a 'match' ( My response to the matrimonial advert. (This pic is a real ad btw!))

Dear Anant,

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2017

Dying with Dignity

On the worst of days, when hate seems to have coloured all things great with strokes of rage, there is still love, lurking somewhere.

Continue Reading 21 Jan 2017

The 10 Phases of an International Student Abroad

I wrote this a couple of years ago while doing my Master’s away from home. I was alternatively homesick and jubilant. That’s what student life does to you…

Continue Reading 26 Dec 2016

Languages .

Something that all languages have in common is that they all possess reservoirs of lethal words designed to hurt. Often these words might not be dangerous by themselves, but when coupled with a harsh tone and dressed in resentment, they are more hurtful than physical blows.

Continue Reading 16 Dec 2016

Ripples of Kindness

How many times have you witnessed a ‘Random Act of Kindness’? Maybe someone paid for your coffee when you didn’t have change. Maybe they opened a door for you when your hands were full. Maybe they said a kind word when your day was dull.

Continue Reading 08 Dec 2016

5 Ways Men Can Survive Feminazis [Or Women Empowering Themselves] #HowToSurviveAFeminazi

The Times of India believes that “It ain’t easy being a man in today’s world..with Feminazis turning up the volume.” I believe they are right, the greatest threat to HuMANity is not climate change or wide income inequality or alien invasion or nuclear Armageddon at the hands of a stale orange cheeto with small hands. It is women who ask for equal rights. It’s simple maths: When men have enjoyed...

Continue Reading 20 Nov 2016

But no, they are JUST____

Listen up, cause I am going to share something very personal. Yeah go grab that cuppa tea, I’ll wait.

Continue Reading 01 Oct 2016

Weighing heavy on my heart and mind are a few things for the last few days

A lynching for alleged beef eating in India; another beating up of an 80 yr old man in Pakistan for eating in public during Ramadan;

Continue Reading 13 Jun 2016

TAKE OFF CONTROL

Continue Reading 15 May 2016

How to MAKE a Girl in Ten Steps

For those who don’t want to break her in ten steps.

Continue Reading 12 Apr 2016

For the Omran Daqneeshs of the world.

The image still haunts me. I see it when I close my eyes. I’m there. Outside the ambulance, looking in. There is debris, there is dust–lots of it–floating everywhere. And then there is Omran, seated on a bright orange seat. The only thing providing contrast to his otherwise dull dress of dust being his own blood, painting half his face. That dust should have been mud from playing football with...

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2016

Poetry

The Blooming Rose

If only we’d stop each time and smell the rose. If not that at least slow down to watch it sway and smile at its graceful dance with the wind and bees and the butterflies; blooming, welcoming them in, selflessly gifting its scent to everyone who merely passes by and cares to breathe in.

Continue Reading 28 Jan 2019

Dear Daughter...

When down,

Continue Reading 26 Oct 2018

Me Too

Continue Reading 11 Oct 2018

To the mothers,

Continue Reading 13 May 2018

The U n i v e r s e

They say life is chaos

Continue Reading 24 Nov 2017

The Snagged Doll

The Doll was like every other woollen doll in the world. She got out of bed every morning and did what she had to do. She watched closely what the Real Dolls did and mirrored what she saw. She laughed when jokes were cracked and held her head down when a sad news reared its head. She minded her Ps and Qs, she didn’t bother anyone and no one bothered...

Continue Reading 05 Oct 2017

A love note for my brown girls

I’m here, right by you,

Continue Reading 29 Aug 2017

India

Listen,

Continue Reading 15 Aug 2017

Victor-less war

You may win a battle

Continue Reading 11 Jul 2017

I will not

Today I will not hold back

Continue Reading 15 May 2017

Ramlah.

‘Ramlah.’ She was told it meant ‘Sand’, some kind of valuable sand. Why would her parents name her dirt? Well, it did explain why they treated her the way they did. Her father had died in a drunken brawl and her mother decided to run away with the first man who came knocking on her door. Leaving her, like dirt washed ashore, with her grand mother.

Continue Reading 04 Apr 2017

The House.

The House was a spectacular sight. Even in the yellowed photo I carried around, it stood tall and proud, reveling in its own grandeur. No one knew for sure how old it was. At the last count, five generations of family had lived and died there, each leaving a mark only my grandmother could tell.

Continue Reading 27 Mar 2017

And come sit Next to me.

It doesn’t take much

Continue Reading 16 Mar 2017

The Great Indian Stereotype

They see curry on my plate

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2017

I'm beautiful and so are you.

Shopping with girlfriends or at the hairdressers’,

Continue Reading 23 Jan 2017

To the fathers

Continue Reading 15 Jan 2017

#IWillGoOut

Father,

Continue Reading 11 Jan 2017

No.

Continue Reading 03 Jan 2017

Dear World

Dear World,

Continue Reading 01 Jan 2017

cycle

The girl looks out at

Continue Reading 27 Dec 2016

Chase me with a doll'

I was 7 when you came to see us. You, a visiting relative, came stocked with sweets, toys and tales aplenty. My brothers and I loved you, for you added colour to our bleak, dusty existence. You enthralled us with stories from- what was to us, the biggest wonder in the world- the city. Rapt, we would listen when you described the big buses which can carry A Lot of...

Continue Reading 25 Dec 2016

I orbit the universe

My skin is a wheatish brown

Continue Reading 23 Dec 2016

She was born a girl.

I’d like to apologize

Continue Reading 18 Dec 2016

Not A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a people who did not care for the Little Things. They cared so little for the Little Things that soon the not-so-little things became mere Little Things too. One may wonder what took up all their attention, so much so that they stopped caring for the poor Little Things. Well, it was the Big Things- much much bigger-happening in lands...

Continue Reading 30 Mar 2016

Life

Dear Lil A

9 months out in the world after 9 months in! How has it been so far? Would you rate it 5 stars? This month you visited 4 countries - Austria, Hungary, Slovakia and Czech Republic. Your mom failed you on the no sweet and salt rule till 1 year and let you croissants and ice cream I'm sorry but in my defense it was either give it to you or...

Continue Reading 21 Jul 2023

How to get Saudi Driving License (for Expat Ladies)

I’ve been meaning to get the Saudi driving license since late 2018 but didn’t get around to it because life (and the long waiting time in the first few years). After hearing about my friends wait for months to get an appointment I was quite discouraged and didn’t think I’d get a license any time soon. But this summer I made up my mind that I had to get the...

Continue Reading 13 Jul 2023

Dear Lil A

My 8th letter to you has been delayed by 2 days thanks to the fever that’s been the uninvited guest for the last week. Happy 8th month! I’m sorry you have to deal with the discomfort of fever and rashes.. it really sucks to see you this way and not be able to do anything.

Continue Reading 23 Jun 2023

Dear Lil A

Say hello to month 7!

Continue Reading 21 May 2023

Dear Lil A

I’m a week late in writing your 6th letter because of how crazy busy it has been. Welcome to month 6 my darling boy. How are you already half a year old?!

Continue Reading 09 Apr 2023

Dear Lil A

How are you 5 months already? Seems like just yesterday I was counting your kicks from inside. You are growing so fast that I’m afraid to blink. I don’t want to miss anything. What an eventful month this has been. We spent 2 weeks in India and from knowing only us you got the chance to meet dozens of your relatives back home. Grand uncles and aunties and cousins galore....

Continue Reading 22 Mar 2023

Dear Lil A

Dear Lil A, Happy 4 months to you! I’m a day late because yesterday you had your first flight out to visit the motherland for the first time. Welcome to kerala! I can see you are already loving the breeze and trees here. You are scream-babbling a lot more now that you are with your grandparents. So what happened in the last one month? Well you had your first road...

Continue Reading 26 Feb 2023

Dear Lil A

Say hello to month 3! As always I’m in awe of how fast the time slips by. You’re a full on baby! This month you started getting really chatty. I’m loving the conversations we have late at night. This month you mostly slept through the day and stayed up happily cooing away at night. I powered through flu and sleep deprivation to stay awake with you because my mom brain...

Continue Reading 21 Jan 2023

Dear Lil A

Congratulations on finishing month 2 earthside. How’s it been so far? Is the milk good and are the cuddles warm enough? From our side we give it 5 stars because we think you are just the best baby ever, alongside your sis Z. But we might be biased.

Continue Reading 21 Dec 2022

Dear Baby Z,

When did you learn how to fly? Cause it sure looks like you have taken off. Today marks 8 months of me as a mom and you as my little side plum.

Continue Reading 02 Feb 2019

Live and love

This time in Uganda is different.

Continue Reading 22 Jan 2019

The ten year challenge reminded me of this from a few years ago

We moved to Jeddah for a year when I was in 11th grade (ten years ago). One of the first things you have to do on arriving is apply for an iqama (resident permit). And apart from medical check ups and lots of forms, you also need to submit some photos. You all know my aversion to any photo taken for official purposes. I have been cursed for life, there...

Continue Reading 17 Jan 2019

Seeing My Mother Through Different Eyes

Growing up I used to dread the PTA meetings. Not because I was a poor student-I was stellar, even if I say so myself :D- but because my mother would come to the meetings. My mom was and continues to be a dedicated parent. She was always there, through all the meetings and sports coaching and tournaments and fancy dress competitions. She picked out poems for my recitation competitions and...

Continue Reading 08 Jan 2019

Road tripping with parents

My family is a family of seasoned road trippers. We’ve lived out of boxes all our lives so a few days on the road doesn’t faze us. The earliest road trips I remember are from when I was around 7 or 8 when my parents would bundle the three of us in our hideously green omni van and go to the India’s famous northeastern vacation spot- Darjeeling. The rickety metallic...

Continue Reading 08 Jan 2019

Dear Papa and Mamma,

Tell me, which day was it that you assigned my future for me? What about me made you feel that I can be a good doctor? Was it written on my forehead when I came out of your womb, ma?

Continue Reading 08 Jan 2019

The dam inside my mind

The dam inside my mind, which has been holding in all the ideas and inspiration for some time now, has begun leaking, threatening to burst. I wake up thinking about something to write about and go to bed with another interesting idea. Sometimes I get an idea as I am stirring the curry, at other times as I am nursing my daughter to sleep.

Continue Reading 06 Jan 2019

To Madina.

One of the hardest things about growing up is leaving your parents to live somewhere else. It wasn’t easy when i was 18 and in college and not easy 8 yrs later with a fresh baby in my arms. Nothing compares to the warmth and security one is enveloped in when in the presence of their parents. So two months back when they planned to visit us here in Saudi,...

Continue Reading 04 Jan 2019

Dear Baby Z,

You are 7 months old today. You are now a full fledged baby, congratulations!

Continue Reading 02 Jan 2019

A bit late

A bit late in putting up my 2018 reflections post but better late than never eh?

Continue Reading 01 Jan 2019

When I was younger

When I was younger, people in their 20s awed me. They seemed young but not immature like teens my age. And they were not old fashioned like our parents generation. 20s was like the sweet spot where you are youthful AND mature AND hep. I could not wait to foray into it myself and taste a little bit of the fun.

Continue Reading 20 Dec 2018

The transition into motherhood

The transition into motherhood is exciting and nerve wracking all at once. It changes you in many ways. It makes you uber emotional- laughing one moment and trying not to tear up the next because le husband bought the wrong flavor of ice cream (true story).

Continue Reading 10 Dec 2018

6 months of motherhood: Taking Stock

I have always loved babies. What’s not to love about these cuddly little cuties (except during their projectile poop phases) who are nature’s live stress busters. My love for them was only marred briefly post marriage when random aunties, uncles, and strangers would ask me when I plan to pop one out. It put me off babies and I’d hold myself from cooing too much at a baby for fear...

Continue Reading 05 Dec 2018

Dear Baby Z

You are half a year old today! I can’t believe you are six months already. It’s as though you were a fragile lil new born just yesterday. Now you are a babbling baby brimming with energy and giggles. .

Continue Reading 02 Dec 2018

Why do we do it our kids?

Imagine you go to a new city with your family. You are having a great time with them. All of a sudden a stranger comes and picks you up. You are bewildered because you don’t know this person. You try to tell them to leave you alone but they don’t understand your language. Instead they laugh at you as your protests grow louder. You aren’t comfortable because they are holding...

Continue Reading 28 Nov 2018

7 things to teach your kids to raise independent and confident boys and girls

Continue Reading 22 Nov 2018

Dear Baby Z...

Congratulations on your 5th month on planet Earth. Hope you are enjoying your stay with mamma and uppa. It’s getting quite obvious now that you are a photocopy of your dad. And it’s also quite clear that you are a daddy’s girl and have him wrapped around your cute Lil pinky. ????

Continue Reading 02 Nov 2018

My father is a "connector".

I want to share with you one of the most important things I learned from my father (after decades of him trying to teach it to me). It’s something I actively resisted for years only to now find myself doing exactly that.

Continue Reading 25 Oct 2018

We are with you

When I was in 10th grade our class got a new class teacher. Priyanka mam. Ours was an Islamic school in Bangalore and she was one of the few non Muslim teachers. She was newly married and had just moved from Lucknow to be with her husband who she adored.

Continue Reading 18 Oct 2018

Meanwhile, here's my grandma saying peace out.

She is a peculiar character, my velliamma. From the time I remember she was fond of keeping a jar of candy or toffee next to her bed. One of the many habits she shed with age. I remember her asking me to buy packets of mangobite, Coffee bite, or melody, if she was in a mood for it. She made it a point to call us all to her room...

Continue Reading 05 Oct 2018

Dear Baby Z,

You have been earth side for four months now. Four months of making our days better. You have made your parents tired but better people ????

Continue Reading 02 Oct 2018

Dear Baby Z,

You are three months old today! Where did the time fly? You are no longer the wee little thing I was scared to hold because of how fragile you were. By God’s grace you are a strong healthy girl I can more confidently carry around, especially since your neck is no longer like a spring. I can finally use the ring sling to wear you around! We are getting more...

Continue Reading 02 Sep 2018

Circles Of Love

I don’t remember a time before my younger brother was born. All my childhood memories have him firmly attached to it. That’s not the case with my youngest brother though. I have memories in which he is not there. I was six when he was born and I still clearly remember when I was told that I have another baby brother.

Continue Reading 01 Sep 2018

Reasons I think you should / shouldn't be getting married for

Reasons I think you should be getting married for :

Continue Reading 27 Aug 2018

Just the way you are.

I’ve had a love hate relationship with my body. With my teenage years riddled with a lot of insecurities and acceptance and self love gradually seeping in in the later years.

Continue Reading 10 Aug 2018

EVERY DAMN PERSON WOULD FAIL

If there existed a mandatory aptitude and competence test to become a parent, human life would cease to exist. Because EVERY DAMN PERSON WOULD FAIL. No coaching, no book, no podcast can prepare you for parenthood. The only way you can test being a parent is by actually becoming one. With a real kid.

Continue Reading 08 Aug 2018

Dear Baby Z,

You are two months today!

Continue Reading 02 Aug 2018

Three years of marriage

Of getting on each other’s nerves

Continue Reading 01 Aug 2018

Motherhood is guilt!

Motherhood is guilt. After overwhelming, overpowering love, guilt is what defines motherhood. I did not expect it to hit me with such force. I mean I’d read about it from other women and witnessed my own mom torment herself with it for things she had no control over, like our health issues. But I still didnt expect it to hit me with such force from day 1. Small bump on...

Continue Reading 20 Jul 2018

Dear Baby Z,

After 42 days in your home country you have come to another land. To a home where you won’t really be ever fully “at home”. You are too young to notice, but these temporary reunions and farewells with loved ones are probably going to be a part of your life for some time. I don’t know how I can prepare you for something that’s going to be fulfilling and heart...

Continue Reading 14 Jul 2018

Dear Baby Z,

You are a month old today. Not a new born anymore!It is fascinating watching you. I can spend my whole day looking at you, your tiny fingers and toes, your puckered lips and small chin. Your chubbier by the day cheeks call out to be bitten!

Continue Reading 02 Jul 2018

What's changed since having a little human come into my life?

My schedule. It’s not until you are bang in the middle of it that you realize how much physical, emotional, and mental space these tiny little things occupy. Reminders that she is now in our lives are scattered across the house, from cloth diapers and swaddles hung up to dry indoors (since the Sun is playing hide and seek with Kerala) to gifts from friends and family to her purple...

Continue Reading 30 Jun 2018

Dear Baby Z,

Today you turn one week old.

Continue Reading 09 Jun 2018

You aren't alone in these choppy waters.

Some days can be more overwhelming than others. Especially when you are bang in the middle of adulting. There’s bills to pay and chores to do and deadlines to meet. As if that’s not enough there’s also the intricate web of relationships that you need to carefully maintain.

Continue Reading 25 Mar 2018

Sanskari Guide to Sanskari Cooking

Continue Reading 31 Jan 2018

We are all drowning in this ocean

Sometimes life, instead of giving us lemons like it is supposed to, becomes sadistic and hands us acid in pretty bottles. It then stands back and watches while we burn ourselves and those around us. With lemons we could have at least made lemon pickles, but what do we do with acid other than gulp it down like vodka shots?

Continue Reading 04 Dec 2017

Oh what fun times.

I have this thing for diaries. And journals. And fancy notepads. Anything with pages. I’ve had it since my childhood. In my tweens I wanted that time’s rage- the diary with a lock. Because my tweenage secrets obviously require maximum safety and protected from brother called beings. I never got that diary, but I did invent a secret language so I can write without fear. It was just a chart...

Continue Reading 13 Oct 2017

The world is drained of its color

There’s a kind of tiredness that reaches the very core of your bones. It coils around your veins and settles comfortably in every free crevice it finds. If you don’t pay attention it can creep into your mind and make you emotionally and mentally tired. Once that happens it’s like the world is drained of its color and there’s nothing in it that can cheer you up.

Continue Reading 10 Oct 2017

My story

Growing up I don’t remember having too many clothes or shoes or accessories. But it wasn’t a point of sorrow for us kids because we had other things- books, road trips, train trips, good food, and… Sports. My father was and continues to be a sports enthusiast. He hates seeing us sit idle (it’s another thing that I still turned out to be a sloth, instead of a human). When...

Continue Reading 16 Sep 2017

'I WILL ADJUST IT?!'

Y’all asked for my awful but funny in hindsight eyebrow story, so here you have it.

Continue Reading 12 Sep 2017

I was always an awkward skinny kid

I was always an awkward skinny kid. Couple that with my height (I’m tall by Indian standards) and there were more than enough jokes by well meaning uncles and aunts on how they can use me as a stick (thotti- a long think stick/bamboo pole) to pluck fruits from high branches.

Continue Reading 11 Sep 2017

Chai. Tea

It was towards the end of fall, when copper corpses of leaves lined most roads, that I bought the first packet of tea for myself. I was in London, doing my Masters, and for the first time beginning to understand what ‘biting cold’ really meant. I needed something to warm me up and remind me of home. Since cooking was out of question back then, I turned to the next...

Continue Reading 10 Sep 2017

Here's to swallowing our pride and learning to accept criticism that helps us grow.

There’s a lot of talk these days of cutting off negative people from your life because they kill your vibe. I am all for the ‘You don’t need this kind of negativity in your life’ line of thought if what we are talking about is toxic relationships and people who are out to pull you down. But that’s the extent to which I will support it. I don’t think you...

Continue Reading 06 Sep 2017

Part of growing up is realising you were scared of the silliest things.

I still remember my primary school ‘aayah’. She used to sit at the same spot everyday and monitor the kids during the lunch break. We had this tree in our school courtyard with tasty berries on them, I don’t know what they are called. My friends and I used to pluck the low hanging ripe ones and gorge on them. Apparently they weren’t supposed to be plucked by students (just...

Continue Reading 23 Aug 2017

the desi community!

‘But I am only trying to help,’ she says after a particularly mean comment that she knows will hurt you.

Continue Reading 19 Aug 2017

A man with dreams needs a woman with vision

When I first met le husband and wanted to know more about him I turned to the best investigation tool for desis- Facebook. I stealthily stalked him to find out more about him. In the process, one of the post he shared resonated with me and made it easier to say yes to him later. It went- “A man with dreams needs a woman with vision. Her perspective, faith, and...

Continue Reading 18 Aug 2017

Chai!

My father has been a tea addict since way before I existed. He used to drink 4-5 cups a day. It’s probably a family thing. My grandma would prepare a full flask of black tea (kattan) the night before my uncle’s exams to help him pull an all nighter. My uncle would dutifully finish the last drop of tea and then go to sleep.

Continue Reading 08 Aug 2017

"Where's your colour?"

My grandma has a lot of hobbies. Like collecting old plastic ice cream cups, talking about the old times, giving us 100 Rupees as pocket money… Here I talk about a very amusing one. She likes to browse through old albums, pause at my baby pictures and say “Molku enthu nirram endayirinnu, ippo adokke pozhi”. Literal translation: You had so much colour, everything’s gone now. What She really means: You...

Continue Reading 02 Aug 2017

Embarrassment and fear of falling!

Embarrassment and fear of falling is what keeps the majority of us from trying something new and rising to new heights. And this embarrassment, which hinders our success, is something we develop later on in life. Okay, don’t roll your eyes. Hear me out.

Continue Reading 28 Jul 2017

specs !

I was 13 yrs old and just about to start 7th grade when I got my first pair of spectacles. I remember being super thrilled because I thought it made me look cool. (it didn’t)

Continue Reading 24 Jul 2017

period

Someone I know told me that when her mother got her first period, she thought she had blood cancer and was dying. So instead of informing her parents, her mother thought why worry them when she’s dying anyway, and walked around for a week bleeding on things till her mother spotted some stains and explained what was happening to her.

Continue Reading 15 Jul 2017

What's Home?

I haven’t lived long enough anywhere for my roots to go deep in and intertwine around the little things that make a place home. Home for me has been a concept that constitutes people rather than houses or places. With my mom, dad, and brothers, I’ve called places from the east to the west my home.

Continue Reading 10 Jul 2017

Family

There’s a part of you that never grows up. One which yearns affection and care and protection always. In your childhood you had your parents cater to that part. And then one day the rug is pulled from under your feet and in an instant you are thrust into adulthood. Suddenly there’s no one to look out for you, no one to tell you what to do and what not...

Continue Reading 08 Jul 2017

I walked into marriage

I walked into marriage ready to become (or at least act like) a grown up. I own a human now! I mustered all the grace and femininity I could and told myself BE A LADY!

Continue Reading 21 Jun 2017

What you have in this moment is a MASSIVE blessing

If there’s one thing you must remember about life it’s that its unstable. It doesn’t give two hoots about what you are, what colour your skin is, how much money there’s in your account, or how many degrees there are with your name on it.

Continue Reading 07 Jun 2017

Weekends have changed so much over the time for me.

When we were younger, and my dad was still in the Air Force, weekends were for family walks. Well, almost the whole family, because the youngest one in our family was the only one brave enough to say no to my dad when he woke us up early in the morning. He’d curl back to sleep under the comfy blanket while Shereef and I grudgingly went with mom and dad...

Continue Reading 30 May 2017

Shall I tell you the secret of everlasting peace that never leaves your side? It took me some time but I've almost arrived at the secret formula. What is it?

It’s knowing that life is going to keep hurling (not giving) lemons at you. Not just you, but every single person who lives on this beautiful blue planet. And these lemons are not all the same size. Some are big. Some are little but sour. Some are yellow and many. One thing remains constant though, every one us has been pelted by these lemons at some point in our lives....

Continue Reading 30 May 2017

Ramadan

Ramadan is around the corner again! Naturally, Muslims around the globe are excited about this month and eager to welcome it. Some of my non Muslim friends might be confused as to why we are so excited about a month where we basically keep off food and water for a good chunk of the day. I have been asked this question a few times before so I thought I’d write...

Continue Reading 19 May 2017

mamimma

My mamimma and Uppapa have been married for more than 55 years.

Continue Reading 27 Apr 2017

What's that made of us?

Our society’s priorities are weird. It places more importance on ticking off the predetermined checkboxes (made by itself) at the earliest possible,than enjoy the state/phase of being you are at. It’s made these arbitrary timelines that determine birth, education, marriage, kids, and so on. It’s like Amazing Race on AXN and we are the participants who are supposed to rush from one stop to another. Got born? Now you run...

Continue Reading 20 Apr 2017

Aromas From Home

I grew up in a Nomadic family. Well, almost. Having a parent work in the armed forces meant living out of the boxes throughout our childhood. My memories are like a huge geographical collage; a few snaps from West Bengal, some from Maharashtra, tit bits from Karnataka- you get the picture. In all these trips and stays my siblings and I subconsciously internalized a lot of what we saw, and...

Continue Reading 17 Apr 2017

So yeah, I am REALLY imperfect. ????

Perfect human beings don’t interest me.

Continue Reading 11 Mar 2017

SO. DAMN. MUCH.

I was in the car the other day when I had this light bulb go off in my head. Not with an idea, but an illuminating realisation. Embarrassment and fear of falling is what keeps the majority of us from trying something new and rising to new heights. And this embarrassment, which hinders our success, is something we develop later on in life. Okay, don’t roll your eyes. Hear me...

Continue Reading 10 Mar 2017

Today is my birthday.

Today is my birthday. I’ve had one more round on earth, on this never ending merry-go-round around the sun. The last couple of rounds- birthdays- I have found myself in different phases. One as a naive undergrad, the other as a struggling post grad working a job and studying, the next as a new bride learning the ropes of marriage, and now as a professional working to ‘have it all’....

Continue Reading 07 Mar 2017

crazy mixture!

One of my many pet peeves is uber talkative taxi drivers. You know the ones who start talking once you enter the taxi and won’t stop even when you try to get rid of them with the fare. When I was studying in Malaysia I had to put up with so many such rides that I have borderline taxiphobia. One more ‘teksi’ ride with a human radio and I would...

Continue Reading 06 Mar 2017

childhood memories

One of my fondest childhood memories is one where I snuggle next to my Mammimma (grandaunt) and listen to her tell me the same story every night during our stays with her in the summer breaks. We slept in a large room where all the ladies and children of the house slept. Four beds lie parallel to each wall and in the middle a large rug was spread out for...

Continue Reading 04 Mar 2017

Time and again

I find myself wondering why writers write. What is it that makes us gather words and attempt to weave them into coherence, sometimes even against their will?I can’t speak for all writers, but for me three words come to mind- To make sense. Of things/people/events/the world. Not to others, but to myself.

Continue Reading 02 Mar 2017

The kitchen is her laboratory

The best thing about being born into a Desi household is that you can actually live your life without ever seeing a doctor. No, not because you never fall sick, it’s because there is no bacteria, virus, or cell mutation that can escape the healing hands of the Desi mom, aunt, and grandmom.

Continue Reading 27 Feb 2017

10 Life Lessons For My Younger Self

Dear younger me,

Continue Reading 21 Feb 2017

Be your own biggest well-wisher

My uncle recently had a wheelchair run over his foot. It hurt his leg badly and he was in severe pain. He was unable to walk. He finally took some painkillers to ease the pain. The pain was numbed, so he began walking again instead of resting his leg. The wound hadn’t healed yet so his foot began to swell and he had to finally stop walking for sometime and...

Continue Reading 19 Feb 2017

I have a confession.

Sometimes, when someone says something hurtful to me, I freeze. I can’t open my mouth and protect myself. Then before I know it tears are streaming down my cheeks. The person who said those things would have moved on and I would still be left going over it in my mind. Thinking of the hundred different ways I could have responded. Maybe I should have said something insulting back? Maybe...

Continue Reading 17 Feb 2017

Next!

When I was in 1st grade I used to look at the 3rd grade kids in awe and wonder when I could achieve their coolness. They were reading entire stories! When I reached 3rd grade I realised it wasn’t that great and I actually just want to get to 5th grade where we get to write with pens instead of pencils! My friends and I used to dream about being...

Continue Reading 14 Feb 2017

My siblings and I

Continue Reading 11 Feb 2017

The World' and Leaving Our Mark

Today I was feeling unusually down and depressed. You know that vulnerable state you find yourself in every now and then, where you don’t know what’s happening and can’t figure out how to make it hurt less? Yeah that. I remembered this piece I’d written a few months back and turned to it for comfort.

Continue Reading 07 Feb 2017

oh I don't know- DRAMA?

More than two decades ago, in an unknown hospital in a dusty town Kerala, I was delivered. With the first scent of the drama that my life if going to be, my little self launched into a long, tortured cry which was mistaken by the doctors to be a normal slap-a-baby’s-butt-to-make her-cry cry.

Continue Reading 06 Feb 2017

And when I was about to leave that last stretch of beautiful sky behind,

There are some moments in life which are so vivid that they etch themselves into your being. Moments so fleeting that if you’d chosen to blink instead you would have missed them altogether. They dawn on you when you least expect it, at the most insignificant of times, following no particular pattern.

Continue Reading 03 Feb 2017

How many more children's spirits will we sacrifice at the altar of "education"? What have we done? What are we doing?

Most people are surprised when I tell them that by 12th grade I’d studied in 10 different schools. Yes, 10 schools. From fancy Air Force schools to Kendriya Vidyalayas that have students from all classes, religions and backgrounds to a state-syllabus school in Karnataka to an Indian embassy school in ‘the Gulf’, I have seen most of what our system has to offer. And I’m sad to say that it...

Continue Reading 31 Jan 2017

One who knows it all. I am free.

The sea sways impatiently as it waits for the sun to set, sending wave after wave rolling to the shore. It waits for them to meet, even if for a brief moment. And finally the sun descends and comes close, almost kissing, until it slips behind the horizon, leaving the sea with a demanding moon instead.

Continue Reading 29 Jan 2017

Here are somethings you don't know about me

I’m 5’6 tall (a female giraffe by desi standards). My favourite colour is all shades of blue. I LOVE chocolates, specifically galaxy flutes, so much so that since we’ve been together my husband HAS to buy me one every weekend (if he didn’t keep a check I would have indulged everyday). I am a bit of a day dreamer, have walked into a trash can once while daydreaming. I love...

Continue Reading 25 Jan 2017

Nomadic childhood

A by-product of a nomadic childhood is that you never have one specific “home”. Although we visited kerala every year during vacations and eventually even returned to settle down there, I never really saw it as MY home. It was home in the sense that there was family there, but I do not have any other sentimental attachment to that place. I recently read a piece by Pico Iyer about...

Continue Reading 29 Dec 2016

Love, Your mother

Dear Child,

Continue Reading 28 Dec 2016

Profile of a Granduncle

My granduncle (uppapa) is one of the most charming and inspiring person I know. Now 85, he’s one of the most energetic people around. At 6ft, my uppapa stands tall in my childhood memories. I remember him as someone who’s always on the move, always occupied. For the brief moments he was not doing something, or helping someone out, or treating his patients, he could be found relaxing in the...

Continue Reading 24 Dec 2016

It is time we celebrate us, the perfectly imperfect ones.

erfect human beings don’t interest me.

Continue Reading 03 Dec 2016

One day I want to see

Continue Reading 15 May 2016

MOVING BEYOND MOTHERHOOD

Continue Reading 03 May 2016

Travel

On the last day before flying back to Riyadh!

On the last day before flying back to Riyadh from Uganda my mother and I went to Protea for lunch. Located at a beautiful spot on the shores of lake Victoria (Africa’s largest fresh water lake) it’s a picturesque hotel and restaurant with a never ending cool breeze and great food to fuel you. Green lawns punctuated by palm trees swaying in the wind, a lovely pool (which my baby...

Continue Reading 07 Feb 2019

UGANDA DIARIES

One thing I look forward to during each visit to a new place is the local cuisine. It can be a bit tricky sometimes because halal options aren’t always available and I don’t eat most fish. Ugandan food so far hasn’t been a problem. Their food is simple, both to make and on the stomach too. There’s a lot of beans and plaintain and starch. Minimal spices involved (which the...

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2019

The personalized mug

I have been awfully quiet for the last few weeks. Mainly because I am travelling. Back in India after more than a year and I know I am having a good time because I don’t have the time to record it on social media ????

Continue Reading 16 Feb 2018

This is a reflection from exactly one year ago...

This is a reflection from exactly one year ago…

Continue Reading 29 Nov 2017

The Journey

When my father was still in the Air force and we were posted in different states, trips to Kerala happened in the summer breaks. The chosen mode of transport- the great Indian Railways.

Continue Reading 17 Jul 2017

UGANDA DIARIES

Two days back we set off from Entebbe, early in the morning, to the Queen Elizabeth National Park, which is about 400 kms away.

Continue Reading 01 Jul 2017

UGANDA DIARIES

This is the story of a family of samosas that made its way from the sleepy Ugandan town of Entebbe, 115 kms north east to Jinja, the source of the mighty river Nile.

Continue Reading 27 Jun 2017

UGANDA DIARIES

I have celebrated Eid in 6 countries till now. Today was the 7th one-Uganda. Each place has been a different experience, but this one was something really special.

Continue Reading 25 Jun 2017

WORST Travel EXPERIENCE IN MY Life with Ethiopian Airlines

Ethiopian airlines is the worst, most inept airline I have ever had the misfortune of flying with. My husband and I had booked the 6:45pm Ethiopian Airlines flight from Riyadh to Addis Ababa and further to Entebbe on 22nd June. We arrived at 3pm, did check in, obtained the boarding pass and reached the designated boarding gate by 5pm yesterday. The flight was indefinitely delayed and we waited 20+hrs at...

Continue Reading 23 Jun 2017