10 Ways Women Hate Themselves

One of the main by-products of the patriarchy–Internalized misogyny and sexism– rears its ugly head when:

1. When a mother feels a a tinge of sadness colour her joy blue when a daughter is born. Other women folk will only add to the sorrow by berating her for giving birth to a burden. (Even though it’s her husband who determined the sex of the child) When women let out sighs of relief when a son is born to them.

2. When women are taught their duties but not their rights. Women who do demand their rights are told they are ungrateful and asked to stay quiet and maintain the status quo by their own ilk.

3. When women feel compelled to hide that they are on their periods. Because this natural, monthly phenomenon disgusts them and those around.

4. When daughters are taught over generations to keep their voices low, eyes wide, ears alert, and smiles bright. Because one needs to be careful not to attract attention but be likeable at the same time. A smiling girl not aware of her surroundings is asking for it but a frowning girl aware and alert probably needs to be taunted to be put in her place.

5. When mothers want docile and obedient wives for their sons. When an adult man can be a man child who needs someone to pick after him constantly AND get away with it. But a woman with no ‘feminine skills’ like cooking, sewing, cleaning thinks something is wrong with her and feels guilty about it.

6. When mothers-in-law carry on abuse they received from their own MIL. Because nothing says patriarchy like women being made to fight each other over a man.

7. When modesty is made into a gendered term. When mothers scream at daughters for crossing their legs while their sons pee on the road.

8. When respect is taught to be a one way street. When new brides are taught that you must respect your husband no matter what. But no one tells her that she must expect and receive the same respect back.

9. When an opinionated woman becomes a blot on the family. When women beg their daughters to shush and become likeable so they can bag a decent man.

10. When little girls skip spring for autumn; shed their ambitions, one by one, as each year passes by and they see their sisters, mothers, and grandmothers stop resisting and settle instead to become pillars that hold the glass ceiling up.