Random

Generosity flows through Makkah

In every corner, every turn of the street, every open space, you find people racing to give and serve and assist. In the mosque people walk around offering dates, coffee, bread, miswak, and water. Children are most adored, as people stop and give them candy and fruit. Yesterday I saw a man stand for an hour near Safa marwa offering tissues to the pilgrims.

Continue Reading 17 Feb 2023

The Blue Cup

This is me, at 3 months post partum, trying to take a nice selfie on the now rare occasion of putting on some make up. I tried a couple of different angles and then realized all of them have some reminder in the background of my status as a mom of littles. A neon plastic cup here, a diaper there, some other toy which looks a unicorn threw up a...

Continue Reading 30 Jan 2023

Gold - Malayalam Movie Mini Review

Watching Gold felt like listening to a toddler narrate a story. There are a lot of substories with multiple detours that are hard to keep track of. New actors are introduced Willy nilly with a lot of fanfare to then find out they are pointless to the plot (which is hanging on a one liner).

Continue Reading 02 Jan 2023

"Marana Veedu"

On Friday morning I woke up to the news that my father’s mother, my velliumma, had breathed her last and returned to her Lord. She was 78 years old when she passed to the next world.

Continue Reading 24 Feb 2019

Romantic love is overrated.

Romantic love is overrated. There I said it.

Continue Reading 13 Feb 2019

I love stationery. I love paper. I love pretty journals. I love beautiful pens

One thing people close to me know about me is that I love stationery. I love paper. I love pretty journals. I love beautiful pens I can write with on the said pretty journals. And on top of all that I love a little time each day I can spend reflecting.

Continue Reading 31 Jan 2019

Do you dream of all the lives you could have lived?

Do you ever wonder what would have happened had you not made that particular choice at that particular moment? On some nights do you toss about in bed thinking of all the things you did or didn’t do that brought you to this moment, right now in the present? Does it fill you with relief or regret? Is the sigh you let out content or wistful or loaded with remorse?...

Continue Reading 27 Jan 2019

#LettersToSelf

On unkind days, be kind to yourself. It sounds easy, but it isn’t.

Continue Reading 20 Oct 2018

You see me here?

You see me here? Eyes glazed from lack of sleep, punctuated by dark circles. Skin and lips dry because I forget to drink water, let alone moisturize. Motherhood is as unglamorous as it gets. But guess what, when I took this pic I was happy and content. I’d put in Z into the Aseema carrier and she snuggled closed to me and just fell asleep like that. 30 mins of...

Continue Reading 15 Oct 2018

Latent Rage

I believe that most women, irrespective of race, religion, caste or creed, go about their lives with latent rage building up inside. No, we aren’t born with it. It’s a direct result of enduring and witnessing injustice over generations. Encountering sex-based discrimination, harassment, and even violence on a regular basis results in this slow build of rage that gradually begins to settle under our skin, around our thoughts, and on...

Continue Reading 07 Oct 2018

Manbabyism

I am the doctor that detects bullshit and I am here to diagnose you.

Continue Reading 31 Aug 2018

I can go on but I don't think it will ever end

When you remove the patriarchy tinted glasses forced on you since childhood, a lot of things begin to clear up. You see things for what they are. You notice the ‘little things’ that have a lasting impact and how they end up forming attitudes of entire societies.

Continue Reading 29 Aug 2018

Thoughts on India's Independence Day

Thoughts on India’s Independence Day

Continue Reading 15 Aug 2018

Day 11: What If?

When asked what they regret the most when on their death bed, most reply: not following their dreams, not listening to their hearts… it is always about not doing something. And thus they are left to face death with a heavy ‘What if?’ hanging over their heads.

Continue Reading 13 Mar 2018

I am an Indian Muslim woman

This Republic Day I want to share something I wrote last year and is very close to my heart:

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2018

Some Words of Wisdom That Speak to You

The Prophet (saw) said:

Continue Reading 21 Jan 2018

Be you

One of the most grating things for me is to hear someone say my opinion/argument/insight is ‘illogical’ or ‘irrational’ because I am a woman. When I am made to feel that anything I say is just the result of ‘emotions’ because I am female.

Continue Reading 20 Oct 2017

I remember the girl who forgot...

They spoke often of her, of how she travelled lands seeking moments to collect. She walked backwards extracting footprints from the past. She stored memories in jars, filled pages with scribbles, and labelled pictures in ornate albums. At times, like beads, she strung these memories into beautiful necklaces; bright pink, calming blues, and fiery red made their way as the gloomy grays were left behind. And then, gently, she locked...

Continue Reading 30 Sep 2017

'Not all men'

‘Not all men’

Continue Reading 26 Sep 2017

brought them into the world

I want to talk to the parents. The new ones and the old ones. The ones of toddlers and teens and grown adults. I hope you will listen.

Continue Reading 28 Aug 2017

Thoughts on India's Independence Day

I have fond memories of Independence Day Celebrations at school. It begins when the class teacher threatens everyone to come saying she will definitely take the attendance to make sure everyone is present. You see, it’s supposed to be a holiday but then we had students participating in march pasts, ‘patriotic’ plays, songs, and dances which squeezed in a ‘hum sab ek hai’, ‘meri mitti, mera chaman’ and ‘bhai-behen’ wherever...

Continue Reading 15 Aug 2017

'The Handmaid's tale'. I am now in a dark dark hole.

Over the last few days I binge watched ‘The Handmaid’s tale’. I am now in a dark dark hole. To think that Margaret Atwood wrote this with a challenge to herself that she’d only include events that have already happened somewhere at some point in time…

Continue Reading 12 Aug 2017

Navigating the New India

For someone who has a Masters degree in Political Science, I don’t write or comment as much on politics. I used to. I used to read voraciously about it, consume numerous opinion pieces, and sometimes even engage in comment wars with random people.

Continue Reading 10 Aug 2017

#ThinkingOutLoud

Contrary to popular belief, millennials are one of the most overworked demographic. Especially in Asia. Here overworking is seen as a sign of good work ethic, it’s supposed to show how dedicated one is. The later you stay after work hours the better worker you are seen as. And with such a high population and such low resources, a lot of us can’t even afford to not work overtime because...

Continue Reading 04 Aug 2017

Hold on, you will get there.

Earlier today I posted a comic about the ‘imposter syndrome’. It’s when you feel like you had nothing to do with all your achievements, like they were a fluke or just pure luck, and that you are just the sum of all your failures. So even when you are doing really well, you feel like you don’t deserve all of your achievements and accolades. And when one negative comment comes...

Continue Reading 22 Jul 2017

Bleeding is not a 'luxury'

So here’s the thing. Periods suck. Menstruation. Aunt Flo. The Red Wedding. Inevitable pain and discomfort, whatever name you call it by, is still inevitable pain and discomfort. Guys, you need to read this. Carefully.

Continue Reading 06 Jul 2017

Bharati!

It was a dark night- the dramatic kind- with the wind swooshing through the leaves and the thunder punctuating the silence. I was walking back home from work when I saw a woman trying to hail a taxi. Dressed in a simple kurta and jeans, she would have gone unnoticed, had it not been for the distress etched all over her face.

Continue Reading 05 Jul 2017

Women can't do it all.

No, women can do EVERYTHING they want to. But they can’t and shouldn’t be doing everything at once. We have been trained to aspire to become the corporate superwoman who is also a domestic goddess. The one who has power meetings in the mornings and makes power rotis at dinner. We are told that we are falling behind when we aren’t earning 6 figure salaries, maintaining a spotless house, raising...

Continue Reading 03 Jul 2017

''To My Dead Husband"

Darling,

Continue Reading 30 Jun 2017

There's a leaky faucet in my kitchen

There’s a leaky faucet in my kitchen. If I don’t close it the right way, with the right amount of pressure, it goes drip drip drip drip drip all day till I get frustrated and am forced to get away from my work to stop it. It’s weird how such an insignificant sound- a drop of water hitting the sink- can get on your nerves. I can’t stand it for...

Continue Reading 14 Jun 2017

Women!

We have some messed up ideas of what it means to be a young woman, a newly married woman, a married woman without children, a married woman with children. There are some expectations of how women in each category should behave. Like a silent tree she must bloom and shed aspects of her personality according to the seasons. In Spring she must shade those around her with her full bloom...

Continue Reading 10 Jun 2017

'Noodlepuff'.

Imagine an independent country ‘Noodlepuff’. It has its own culture, economy, and trade. It’s supposed to be independent. However, Noodlepuff outsources its governance to another country, say neighbouring country ‘Momopuff’. SO Momopuff dictates what the people of Noodlepuff eat, drink, wear, do, study etc. Can you imagine being a citizen of Noodle puff? How inconvenient and embarrassing it is to not be autonomous in your own land?

Continue Reading 08 Jun 2017

Attention: This is a kindness thread.

The week has ended, some shoulders are slumped under stress at work or school, some have aching backs after too much toil, and others have heavy minds burdened by everything that needs to be done.

Continue Reading 07 Jun 2017

Ramadan

The most difficult part of Ramadan is not fasting from food. That’s actually the easy bit, anyone can do it.

Continue Reading 30 May 2017

Marriage / Ramadan

Marriage is not always this rosy rom com where you wake up to your husband holding flowers for you and you feed each other chocolate till you die. You don’t spend your entire day sighing and composing love ballads for each other. And breakfast in bed is really not that common. No. Marriage is messy. And it’s understandable because it’s a relationship that is not bound by blood. It’s not...

Continue Reading 27 May 2017

Just a Date?

I have been fasting the whole month of Ramadan since the age of 11 or 12. Before that, my Ramadan was mostly of half fasts-breaking my fast 5-6 hours before the adults. I remember one episode in particular where sunset was around 6 pm and I decided that fasting until 5 was the maximum I can do. So I broke my fast literally one hour before iftaar. Talk about patience....

Continue Reading 26 May 2017

Dear students about to receive your grades,

I know that each day, as you get closer to the the results, you are a little more afraid. I can feel your heart in your mouth. You’ve worked so hard for this. You bought all the books and religiously did all the question papers. You skipped hanging out with friends for 2 hours of Physics. You missed a cousin’s wedding because you had to get maths into your head....

Continue Reading 21 May 2017

Dear Papa and Mamma,

Tell me, which day was it that you assigned my future for me? What about me made you feel that I can be a good doctor? Was it written on my forehead when I came out of your womb, ma?

Continue Reading 20 May 2017

Wordlessness.

For someone who aspires to be a writer, the worst thing that can happen is to run out of words. To have unruly thoughts bounce off the walls of your mind, unable to find a single word that can articulate it and let it out. It’s even more distressing when you want to articulate oppression, be it your own or someone else’s, and you find yourself short of words. What...

Continue Reading 09 May 2017

'OLIO PICCANTO'

My father worked in Italy for five years. He loved the quiet little town of Brindisi. He would go on long walks along the Adriatic coastline in the evenings, my mother reluctantly walking beside him since he’s donned a ridiculous cow boy hat that she absolutely detests. On weekends they’d go on road trips to different parts of Southern Italy, a cowboy hat wearing brown man and his hijabi wife,...

Continue Reading 08 May 2017

7 way to raise independent and confident boys and girls

I don’t have kids so these are not tried and tested by me. These are based on observations of different parents and what they do in their parenting journeys, that sets their children apart from the rest. When I look back at my own childhood, I see a lot of the things my parents did that have contributed to making me who I am. I’d break it down broadly to...

Continue Reading 06 May 2017

Me with!

One day I want to see myself on the screen and in the pages of best selling books. Me or someone like me. Not there as a caricature or a token character. Not there merely to be the head on which rests the hijab added for diversity. Not there to show how certain cultures oppress their women so the rest should gloat. Not there to evoke sympathy and be saved...

Continue Reading 14 Apr 2017

Dear You,

Yes you. This letter is for everyone who was made to feel small. For everyone one who was bullied for who they are, what they look like, or where they come from. This is a love letter from me to you.

Continue Reading 14 Apr 2017

'beta give us good news'

I am open in my disdain of self appointed uterus status inquirers. So much so that most of them have backed off now. I show it in a frown or by outright saying NO or sometimes changing the topic in a jiffy. But there still remain a few who are persistent in trying to find out whether a couple is going to have little humans or not.

Continue Reading 07 Apr 2017

Bookstores and restaurants

Bookstores and restaurants evoke the same emotions in me. Well, more like feeeeelingsss. It’s a bewildering concoction of excitement, dread, anticipation, guilt, joy, and sorrow.

Continue Reading 25 Mar 2017

#Sheroes.

Women never cease to amaze me. It is just incredible how much women can and continue to endure on a daily basis. From the moms on overdrive 24/7 to the single ladies out to make their name in a world against them to the girls who wake up and quash an assortment of stereotypes each day to grandmas in whose wrinkles rest struggles of entire generations.

Continue Reading 08 Mar 2017

10 Ways Women Hate Themselves

One of the main by-products of the patriarchy–Internalized misogyny and sexism– rears its ugly head when:

Continue Reading 01 Mar 2017

To Those Who Beat Their Children

Spanking ones child is considered a god given right in most Asian cultures. Many parents here don’t think twice before slapping, pinching, or taking out the much feared ‘daddy’s belt’ to “discipline” their children. This abuse is so pervasive in our culture that even in schools many teachers resort to corporal punishment if their student is seen as falling behind in the classes. Sometimes it is done in public, absolutely...

Continue Reading 26 Feb 2017

Six Ways to Pluck Nosy People Out of Your Life

We’ve all had to face questions about our career, marriage plans, and little human appearances at least once in our life. If you are a woman, definitely more than once. But the thing is, no aunty or uncle has any business peeking into your life or uterus. So here are some tried and tested tips to stop people from meddling in your binezz.

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2017

Five Ways to Improve Your Language Skills

‘How do I improve my speaking/writing skills?’ is a question many in my inbox have. I thought I’d write down a list of five simple steps to get started.

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2017

A 9 point letter to parents

Dear Parents,

Continue Reading 18 Feb 2017

Time we told our daughters they are in charge of their own story.

When you remove the patriarchy tinted glasses forced on you since childhood, a lot of things begin to clear up. You see things for what they are. You notice the ‘little things’ that have a lasting impact and how they end up forming attitudes of entire societies.

Continue Reading 30 Jan 2017

ideal womanhood.

In her lifetime a woman takes on a range of roles. However, it’s her roles which are in relation to others (most of the time men) that she is asked to live up to the most. Countless are the articles which go “A women is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother so….”. My gripe is with the word ‘so’ here. It makes the respect that a woman deserves...

Continue Reading 28 Jan 2017

Not a 'catch' but a 'match' ( My response to the matrimonial advert. (This pic is a real ad btw!))

Dear Anant,

Continue Reading 26 Jan 2017

Dying with Dignity

On the worst of days, when hate seems to have coloured all things great with strokes of rage, there is still love, lurking somewhere.

Continue Reading 21 Jan 2017

The 10 Phases of an International Student Abroad

I wrote this a couple of years ago while doing my Master’s away from home. I was alternatively homesick and jubilant. That’s what student life does to you…

Continue Reading 26 Dec 2016

Languages .

Something that all languages have in common is that they all possess reservoirs of lethal words designed to hurt. Often these words might not be dangerous by themselves, but when coupled with a harsh tone and dressed in resentment, they are more hurtful than physical blows.

Continue Reading 16 Dec 2016

Ripples of Kindness

How many times have you witnessed a ‘Random Act of Kindness’? Maybe someone paid for your coffee when you didn’t have change. Maybe they opened a door for you when your hands were full. Maybe they said a kind word when your day was dull.

Continue Reading 08 Dec 2016

5 Ways Men Can Survive Feminazis [Or Women Empowering Themselves] #HowToSurviveAFeminazi

The Times of India believes that “It ain’t easy being a man in today’s world..with Feminazis turning up the volume.” I believe they are right, the greatest threat to HuMANity is not climate change or wide income inequality or alien invasion or nuclear Armageddon at the hands of a stale orange cheeto with small hands. It is women who ask for equal rights. It’s simple maths: When men have enjoyed...

Continue Reading 20 Nov 2016

But no, they are JUST____

Listen up, cause I am going to share something very personal. Yeah go grab that cuppa tea, I’ll wait.

Continue Reading 01 Oct 2016

Weighing heavy on my heart and mind are a few things for the last few days

A lynching for alleged beef eating in India; another beating up of an 80 yr old man in Pakistan for eating in public during Ramadan;

Continue Reading 13 Jun 2016

TAKE OFF CONTROL

In her lifetime a woman takes on a range of roles. However, it’s her roles which are in relation to others (most of the time men) that she is asked to live up to the most. Countless are the articles which go “A women is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother so….”. My gripe is with the word ‘so’ here. It makes the respect that a woman deserves...

Continue Reading 15 May 2016

How to MAKE a Girl in Ten Steps

For those who don’t want to break her in ten steps.

Continue Reading 12 Apr 2016

For the Omran Daqneeshs of the world.

The image still haunts me. I see it when I close my eyes. I’m there. Outside the ambulance, looking in. There is debris, there is dust–lots of it–floating everywhere. And then there is Omran, seated on a bright orange seat. The only thing providing contrast to his otherwise dull dress of dust being his own blood, painting half his face. That dust should have been mud from playing football with...

Continue Reading 22 Feb 2016