'Noodlepuff'.

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Imagine an independent country ‘Noodlepuff’. It has its own culture, economy, and trade. It’s supposed to be independent. However, Noodlepuff outsources its governance to another country, say neighbouring country ‘Momopuff’. SO Momopuff dictates what the people of Noodlepuff eat, drink, wear, do, study etc. Can you imagine being a citizen of Noodle puff? How inconvenient and embarrassing it is to not be autonomous in your own land?

Inadvertently, a lot of us end up becoming like Noodlepuff. Handing over the reins of our lives completely to others, be it spouses, parents, in-laws, neighbours or the society at large. So THEY dictate what WE study (engineering or medicine), who we marry (Wealthy and tall NRI guy/educated but homely and fairer than milk ‘girl’ who makes the roundest rotis), when we have children (within a year of getting married), and overall how we live. Isn’t this humiliating?

The other day I got a message from a woman who was living a nightmarish life, having compromised her dreams for marriage and kids. She wrote that reading about women being able to do anything they dream about gave her the courage to get out of living under the thumb of her in laws. She enrolled herself into a post graduate course and now hopes she can fly high.

Another absolutely courageous woman stood up against family pressure and completed her medical degree. She’s now a doctor and supports her family. We are all capable of this, we just need that one push to unveil our magic.

It’s liberating to take charge of your life. You have one life after all, there’s not enough time to bend and contort yourself into uncomfortable positions just to please those who don’t do shit for you. Don’t let random uncles and aunties try to add more masala into your life when your chai has enough for the day.

Nazreen Fazal

Nazreen Fazal

Writer, Wife, Mother, Indian, Muslim. So many labels, one me. I write, I rant, I ramble in order to make sense of everything happening around. Join me on this journey as I share snippets of my life, going about work, my parenting wins and fails, and the murky waters that's long distance marriage.

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