Not a 'catch' but a 'match' ( My response to the matrimonial advert. (This pic is a real ad btw!))

Dear Anant,

Your advertisement seeking a soulmate has left me in a tumble of emotions. With each word you wrote about yourself, and more about yourself, and even more about yourself, I fell in love a little more with your humility. I am not like others, Anant. I see you. I see that behind the youthful happy face, trapped inside a muscular body in a slender frame, lies a poet. How do I know that? With the earth shattering, heart rending rhyme of ‘catch’ and ‘match’. I knew right then that you were the one.

Reading the rest of your autobiography, sorry advert, was mere confirmation of the fact that we are meant for each other. I like everything about you. Your intellectual side that comes out when you watch TED talks on YouTube, your artistic one with singing, and your responsible side when out of concern for your own wellbeing you do extreme sport abroad only. We all know that extreme sports aren’t extreme until they are safe.

I also like my man with his head on his shoulders as opposed to anywhere else. Your zen views on the meaning of life and the need for experiences over accumulation of consumables has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. And your use of ‘is it not?’ after each philosophical question has convinced me that you are a deeply spiritual being.

Anant, my dear, your advert has taught me more than all my teachers, life lessons, and TED talks combined. How did I not know that culture can’t be bought at a store?! What do I do now with all the packets labelled ‘ Pure Culture’ that I bought from Mr. Khanna all these years? My whole family used to mix it with our chai in the morning and drink it to increase our culture. But it has been in vain.

When I read that you are looking for a partner to explore other dimensions that both augment and heighten higher pursuits including meta physics, it was like I was made for you. I like to get high too.

My parents also fulfil your academic criteria. Both of them are post graduates from IIPM and are willing to write any admission test you want as long as you share the question paper in advance with them.

As for me, my mother tells me I look like Aishwarya, the neighbour’s daughter. I’ve also been told that I am as pleasant as Bangalore weather in all months except April. I’m not moody at all. In fact, if you look at the back of my neck, there’s a switch with which you can control my emotions. You can select which mood you want me to be in at any given point in time.

My interests are eclectic. They include finding out big fancy words in the dictionary and using them in emails, safe extreme sports, traveling abroad through google images, and thinking about the meaning of life.

I’m glad you don’t care about food preferences. Not many are supportive of my strictly cannibalistic lifestyle. Which is a shame, considering it’s 2017.

Anant, will you make space for me in your heart, your very spacious oyster, and your homes abroad?

Looking forward to your happy vibrations.

Your soulmate