Reasons I think you should / shouldn't be getting married for

Reasons I think you should be getting married for :

You will always have-

1. Someone to ring your phone when you misplace it (in your handbag).

2. Someone to scratch that unreachable itch on your back. I call it the blindspot of itches.

3. Someone to peel you off the bed when you are too lazy to function .

4. Someone you can whine to (and at) and unleash preserved eye rolls that you can’t do in front of the inducer of the eye rolls.

5. Someone who will not judge you when you wake up in the middle of the night and head straight to the fridge to eat a slice of cheese.

6. You have one shared armrest at least in cinemas, airplanes etc. At least it’s just one hand awkwardly hanging so that it doesn’t touch a stranger.

7. More dishes you can order off the menu and try. Which means more leftovers. Which means more food for the next day’s lazy breakfast.

8. Someone to click Instagram worthy pictures of you

9. Someone to warm you when you forget your coat

10. Someone to wait with your bags as you use the toilet at the airport. Seriously, who wants to take their cabin bag, laptop bag, and travel pillow inside?

Reasons you shouldn’t be getting married for-

1. Because your neighbour’s aunt’s chaiwallah’s dog’s sister’s owner thinks so.

2. Because someone said your eggs/seeds will shrivel up and die.

3. Because your parents are fed up with you

4. Because the guy’s mother needs a live in maid

5. Because the guy’s father is banking on dowry to be his retirement fund.

6. Because your parents don’t know what to do with you after your college

7. Because someone old in your family is about to die and seeing you tie the knot and multiply into little yous is somehow their last wish ( what a weird wish to have)

8. Because you need a green card.

9. Because your younger sibling wants to get married and you are “blocking” them. As though you cause some kind of sibling-eclipse that prevents people from looking at your sibling.

10. Because you are fed up eating out and washing your own clothes and mom can’t move in with you.

Seriously though, marry only and only if you want to, to the person you want to, and whenever you want to. Anyone who says otherwise can go lick a cabbage flavoured kulfi