'beta give us good news'

I am open in my disdain of self appointed uterus status inquirers. So much so that most of them have backed off now. I show it in a frown or by outright saying NO or sometimes changing the topic in a jiffy. But there still remain a few who are persistent in trying to find out whether a couple is going to have little humans or not.

One lady has been confronting everyone remotely related to me and asking whether I have some ‘good news’. A mere ‘No’ is not enough, she has to know why we are not having kids as it’s been ‘two years over’. This lady is a small symptom of a large rot in our society. She is not really asking to know the apparent answer, No. The real interest is in finding out if we have a problem conceiving. Then it’s perfect fodder for gossip. ‘Hey did you know that so and so has fertility issues?’ Since we are giving her no indication of if there’s a problem or not, it’s frustrating and she just HAS to know.

And there are many like her, deeply invested in learning the problems families are facing within, not with the intention of helping them out, but just to take pleasure in someone’s misfortune.

And then there are the advicers, who will come and impart their gems of wisdom of why we must start popping babies from the moment we get married. They present complex calculations of the ideal, scientifically verified, age gap that must exist between the baby and mother. (If it is more than 25 the baby will be born with two horns, a third eye, a butt tattoo, and will be the cause of the extinction of the human race.) These advisors are very very concerned about your future, they call themselves your well wishers. But god forbid you encounter a financial or health issue, they are no where in sight to help you. So they never really wanted to ‘help’ in the first place.

What we must do is stop discussing our lives with such people. Don’t give them the tiniest atom of information about what is going on in your life. They are parasites that feed on the misfortune of others. Cut off the information supply and they will shrivel up and die. Okay not literally, but at least their nosy noses won’t get any air and will grow back in.

So the next time someone says ‘beta give us good news’, there’s just one answer: No.

YourNoseDoesNotBelongInMyUterus

TakeItOutBeforeIbecomeBadNewsForYou